Double park – don’t lock the door
Push the pedals through the floor
Give it loads and then some more
It’s a hire car baby
Grip the stick – grind the gears
Watch that distance disappear
Never yours in a thousand years
It’s a hire car baby
Hire-car, hire-car
Why would anybody buy a car?
Bang it, prang it, say ta ta
It’s a hire car baby
Bad behaviour on the street
Save yourself a couple of sheets
Collision rate keeps it sweet
It’s a hire car baby
Show this motor no respect
Bump it, dump it, call collect
What else do the firm expect
It’s a hire car baby
Drive the fucker anywhere
Just like you don’t care
Put it down to wear and tear
It’s a hire car baby
Pray the person who hired it last
Didn’t drive it quite so fast
This dakarum dodgem doesn’t last
It’s a hire car baby
Try not to kill yourself
Or injure anybody else
Don’t forget to fasten your belts
Rent it, dent it, bang it, prang it
Bump it, dump it, scorch it, torch it
Crash and burn it, don’t return it
Lost deposit, let ’em earn it
Who cares, it’s on the firm
It’s a hire car baby